Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
