Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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