just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
