It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
