my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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