I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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