Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
