this boner is exhausting
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
