Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
