How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
