so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
