ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
