she looked like the before picture.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't deserve a penis
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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