I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize