btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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