CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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