As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
