Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
