That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
