I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i think im in europe. pls send help
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize