You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
