It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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