if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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