Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
