I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
