not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
