so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize