she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
