I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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