theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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