Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
