Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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