We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
