just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
