I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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