I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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