butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
