How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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