Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The power of my boobs compel you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
