are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
