508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
