I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
