i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize