so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
