I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
