Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
