I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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