She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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