so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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