I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Someone came in the potted fern
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
