if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
