Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I bet he comes in French.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
