i just had sex bonerless
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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