Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
