were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
