part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
