just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
