It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
