we made out on top of his cat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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