yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
did i just pee glitter
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
