She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im holly from the hills drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
