that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Come on in and take your pants off
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