hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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