he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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